I Am Dexter, Hear Me Roar

I woke up from a nap today, one of many, thinking that I should probably relocate to the rug in the dining room.  I fell asleep under a chair for a while, with my legs and arms tucked under my body to keep warm and my chin resting on the floor.  I was awoken suddenly from a dream about finding a chicken bone on the sidewalk.  In the dream I was walking with Anna and smelled something amazing.  I look over and there is a little chicken bone covered with ants, it was so tempting I had to go for it, even though the ants sometimes crawl on my nose and make me sneeze.  I knew I had to act fast, and quickly got that bone in my mouth but just as I was about to savor whatever meat juice was left, Anna's hand was also in my mouth, totally ruining that great chicken flavor with the gross taste of her skin.  Anna's skin does not taste nearly as good as Jesse's.  I thankfully woke up before Anna could pry my mouth open and remove the bone, so at least I have the remains of a good dream left in my mind.

I'm hoping to see my girlfriend today.  She is such a babe.  She is some sort of Husky mix, probably inbred, and she really doesn't have much of a personality, but boy is she cute!  She's got legs up to here and bright blue eyes, and when she rolls me over in the grass and playfully bites my legs, I can't help but wonder what our puppies would look like.  Would they be lean and leggy like her?  Or would they be tough and muscular like me?  I bet they would have my ears.

My girlfriend, her name is Fenway, she likes to play hard to get.  Whenever I pass by her door she puts her nose to the window and I do the same and we touch noses through the glass in the door.  It's so romantic.  If I'm lucky she'll come out and play.  She's not very lady-like though, she usually has to pee right in the middle of playing, like she can't help herself.  I can't tell if this is hot or really weird.  But I patiently wait until she's done and then resume chasing her back and forth from the yard to her door.  Like I said, she likes to play hard to get.  But I always win her over with my awesome personality and cute butt.  I am sooo good at chasing her.

I am totally exhausted from digging the stuffing out of my bed all morning, but you should see the pile of stuffing I built!  It's huge!